The cheating heart

Destany Manns | Contributing Writer

A relationship is a commitment between two people, for most. No games, just honesty and trust. However, some tend to stray away from this commitment.

Cheating is one of the top reasons couples break up today, making it more difficult to trust and be trusted. Where does this desire to cheat come from and what exactly does it mean to “cheat and be cheated on?”

Similar to flirting, the definition of cheating varies from person to person. “Cheating is hard to define because people have different understandings in their relationships,” said Zoe Gabel, a nursing major, from Philadelphia. “For me, my definition of cheating is acting in any way that is disrespectful or breaking the lines of mutual understandings of what it means to be together.”

“I consider cheating to be when my attention shifts from my significant other to someone else. If I’m entertaining another girl instead of my own, that’s cheating,” said Demandre Colston, a pre-pharmacy major, from Roanoke, Va.

There are gray areas when it comes to cheating, but most can agree that cheating consists of becoming physically intimate with someone other than your partner. This question arises: why does one go searching for more when they already have everything that they claim they want?

“[There is no] excuse to cheat, but most people’s reasoning is that the person they are with isn’t for them or that they don’t feel the same connection they once felt for them,” said Richmond native, Robert Osborne. “When you start to feel like the relationship isn’t what it used to be, you start looking for qualities [from] when the relationship was good in other places and other people.”

Some will only stay faithful if their significant other can keep them satisfied. However, if you feel like your partner isn’t “the one,” why string them along?

“It’s nice to have that safety net, someone to go back to. You know that they’ll always be around even without the physical aspect of the relationship.” said Breeon Buchanan, a strategic communications major from Philadelphia.

In a relationship, it’s often best to be up front and honest so it can work out. On the other hand, sometimes the relationship just can’t be fixed.

“A girl can try to do everything in her power to keep her man from cheating. She can feel as though she is doing everything right, but if temptation gets the best of him, he’s going to cheat.” said journalism major Tyla Barnes.

There is a double standard when it comes to cheating. Believe it or not, girls cheat just like guys do. When a boy cheats, there is often little to no surprise. Yet, it is frowned upon more for a woman to cheat on a man.

“There is a noticeable double standard when it comes to cheating. Women are seen as always being faithful while men have the ‘boy will be boys’ outlook,” said biology major Asjah Wallace. “I feel as though guys aren’t [viewed] as negatively as girls are when it comes to cheating, and, in some cases, guys use that to brag.”

Despite the frequency of cheating in today’s society, there are still some who overlook the temptation of the forbidden fruit. “When I am able to say he is ‘the one,’ that’s a wrap,” said Autumn Rikard, a pre-pharmacy major, from Charlotte. “Why would I want to ruin something great looking for something good?”


What’s time got to do with it? Knowing when to leave a relationship

Dominique Burns | Staff Writer

Meeting someone for the first time and making it past the friendship stage is a process no one wants to start over. Let’s face it, once you think you’ve found the one, there’s no opinion that can change that. However if you find yourself feeling like you’re fighting for your relationship more than enjoying it, is it really worth staying?

Nikki Miller, a senior, biology major from Raleigh, North Carolina said, “People stay in relationships longer than needed because they are scared of change. But something that people need to realize is if the relationship isn’t building or helping you towards a goal, it’s essentially toxic.”

Toxic relationships are something people want to stay away from, but keep finding themselves in. When it comes to friendships, it can be easy to just let go and leave the negativity behind, but a first love can be a little harder to just let go.

James Benbow III, a junior, architecture major from Washington, D.C. explained how social situations shape the way people deal with relationships.

“In today’s society people fear being viewed as un-loyal so they’ll stay with their partner no matter what the circumstance or how long just so they don’t get labeled as otherwise. People don’t like getting to know a whole new person. They’ll avoid it and stick to what they know.”

Is sticking to what you know worth your happiness?

Tionne Lemmon, a junior, English major from Northern Virginia said, “I feel like people love with time because they’ve been through a lot with their partner and feel like they can eventually get through it. Because of that, they don’t realize how toxic it is for their relationship.”

Settling isn’t worth the love you think you’re getting. Sometimes people confuse being in a situationship for a long period of time with love. Don’t sacrifice your time for what feels like affection and the fear of having to rebuild a relationship from the ground up with another person. Time does not replace self worth, happiness and genuine love. Don’t treat yourself like a substitute.