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Why shouldn’t you date your friend’s brother?

(Des Moines Register)

(Des Moines Register)

Avary Gillard | Contributing Writer

I think we all have that one friend with the cute brother. The cute brother we thought we would never like, because he was basically family to you. Until one day, you just happened to see him a little differently and then all these feelings started rushing to the surface. When you spend almost everyday going over to your friend’s house, having sleepovers, and eating over at their home it becomes natural to develop feelings for your friend’s brother. You see them just as much as you see your friend and you begin to notice characteristics about them that you like. You also start having more and more conversations with him. You begin to learn things about him and find qualities that you admire becoming more and more infatuated.

But what happens when the feelings are mutual? Before you tell your friend about your newfound love, I would just like to leave you with the three reasons why you shouldn’t date your friends brother. Number one, Time. It can be hard to commit the same amount of time you put into a friendship that you would put into a relationship, especially when that relationship is with your friend’s brother.

The time you would normally spend over at your friend’s house is now spent, not with your friend, but with their brother. Not only is time to hangout limited, the time you spend talking to each other and being in each other’s company has now been cut down to a minimum. The ability to balance is feasible, but still an unnecessary challenge. The boundaries should clearly be set between your friend and the thought of dating their brother.

Number two, tension. So, you told your friend that you’re dating their brother and they seemed fine with it. They told you they were perfectly cool with the idea and you actually believed them. They may have honestly felt okay with the idea at first, but now you can tell a definite shift. Instead of telling your friend about your day and sharing stories and venting to them, you are telling her brother.

You start talking to your friend less and less and the conversations become general conversation starters instead of the meaningful ones you all had before. Is dating your friend’s brother really worth the loss of a true friendship?

Last, is the breakup. So things didn’t workout, what now? The relationship didn’t work and now you are dealing with a breakup and harboring resentment toward your now ex boyfriend. This can cause things to be awkward and going over to your friend’s house can be more difficult than usual.

So, you try to seek comfort from your friend and it feels weird, especially when the breakup was the result of something serious. What happens when her brother moves on and his new girlfriend comes over? How will you feel then?

If you choose to avoid the whole relationship from the start, you’ll feel just fine. It can be harmful to a friendship to start dating their brother, but the issue can be totally avoidable by just avoiding the whole idea and keeping things plain and simple.

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