All This Alvis: Forgiveness is Subjective

Justin Alvis | Columnist
Often times we miss out on relationships in life that mean the most to us because we’re holding a grudge for other people.
Something happened to us, we vent to the ones close to us, and they tell us how we should feel or what action we should take before we can actually sit down and analyze how much emotional damage it really did. For example, one of my best friends and I recently started speaking again after a 15 month hiatus.
Long story short, not so kind words were exchanged during a not so friendly text discussion about race and colorism. Looking back, the issue was extremely petty, however, we let other friends and family dictate how we should feel or what they would do if they were in the situation so we stopped speaking to each other and created this faux beef that really wasn’t there.
When we finally decided to have a conversation all we both ever wanted was an apology and picked up where left off. It could be the opposite, people could for example, want you to reach out to an ex that hurt you. They may think that the problem is not that serious and he/she is the right person for you so you should make up.
Don’t you dare! Whether you’re being melodramatic or not, it’s your decision whether or not you want to speak with someone again. Do not let people close to you push you back into a relationship that seemed amazing on the outside and extremely toxic inside.
He cheated, she lied, your brother took the last of the fruit loops, your best friend is now dating your ex, somebody didn’t pay you back, whatever the issue is, do not allow other people (even sometimes parents) to dictate your feelings towards your own issues!
Life is too short to hold grudges, true, but life is also too short to create reactions that aren’t genuine to your heart and following the opinions of others. Hold that grudge, secure your block list, and make decisions that are right for you and your heart.

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